My Precious Pumpkins

Audrey had her first school field trip. When I got the permission slip I told Barker about it. I was so excited for her. Our conversation went a little something like this:

Me: Audrey has her first school field trip coming up!

B: Where to?

Me: The pumpkin patch!

B: The pumpkin patch at (insert name of the CHURCH here)?

Me: (Looking at the permission slip) Yep. That's the one.

B: I've stolen many a pumpkin from there.

Me: STOLEN?! From a CHURCH?!

B: What? It was like 15 years ago when I was a dumb kid. (Starts laughing) Didn't I ever tell you the story about Scott running with and then dropping the huge pumpkin? (laughs again) Have him tell you.

Me: I am so not prepared to raise your teenagers. (palm to forehead)

B: You knew what you were getting into when you agreed to marry me.

Me: Yes. But I didn't think you'd actually show up the day of our ceremony! 

The morning of the trip I couldn't get her car seat in or out of the car by myself (3rd row seat + pregnant belly + complicated Britax= not budging) and Barker couldn't be there to do it for me so I had to drive her to the pumpkin patch myself. I felt bad tagging along but she said she wanted me to stay, and I'd say probably half of the moms of her classmates were also in attendance and drove their own children as well. I wasn't like an overprotective helicopter mom. But I was the only one with a Huddie so my trip to the pumpkin patch was a bit different than the experience everyone else was able to have. Sigh.

The calm before the storm

We arrived and security told me where to park (Can you imagine why they now have security?) then they made us go into the chapel for story time and a LONG discussion about pumpkins, seeds, the fact that they're hollow and float, etc etc. You know, all kinds of stuff 4 and 5 year olds don't give a crap about after the first 3 minutes. I was shocked at how well behaved they were. Except for Hud. He wanted snacks some other kid brought and to not sit still to learn about the largest pumpkin ever grown. He's just 21 months so I didn't expect much else.

When we were finally able to go out to the pumpkin patch they gave us a huge run down of rules. All I remembered was 1. Don't pick up the pumpkins. 2. Don't sit on the pumpkins. 3. Don't crawl on the bales of hay. It was at this point that I started to stress sweat. I know my son. My not yet 2 year old son. My evil laugh when he's planning on doing something he knows he's not allowed to do son. I knew there was no way in hell he was going to go out there and just walk near the pumpkins and appreciate their beauty without picking one up. Sigh. So I did what boxers do before a fight when they pop their necks, get lose, get their mouth piece in and prepare for a fight. 

So we go out and Hud immediately begins picking them up and rearranging them.

At first I tried to carry him but that wasn't going to happen since none of the other kids were being carried. And he thinks he's one of the big kids. 

Then a field trip showed up from a local elementary school. There was a pumpkin you could throw bean bags through. But instead they threw the smallest pumpkins through the eye and nose holes. Guess throwing pumpkins wasn't on the no-no list. I looked down and Hud's eyes lit up. It clicked with him. Then he bolted. I was in hot pursuit knowing he had pumpkin chucking on his mind. Knees to chest. Knees to chest. I looked like a maniac. As usual.

Heaven help me.

By this point I'm pouring sweat and all of the other moms were staring at me and thinking 'I don't know how she's going to handle 3 kids.' and I'm dragging him kicking and screaming away from the hay bales he's wanting to climb on and frantically searching for Audrey because I know her teachers were keeping an eye on her but there were suddenly so many other kids near a busy road that I couldn't just not keep an eye out for her, too.

Then I remembered this was her field trip and even though my son was likely planning to use the bales of hay for a bonfire like the big kids, I needed to make sure she was having a good time. So I handed Hud off to my friend Megan who was lucky enough to just have 1 of her 3 with her (God bless you Megan) and grabbed my sweet girl. She was nice enough to let me snap a few pictures of her.

After the pumpkin patch we all went and had lunch, the kids played and I was able to breathe knowing Hudson was safely secured in a high chair.

 Exhale.